It really IS good being me!

Yo-ho, Yo-ho, A canine’s life for me.

I think it’s great being dog. Being a dog you can do things like walk around in circles before lying down, roll around in the dirt and smell stranger’s asses or crotches without anyone thinking you’re weird. You don’t have the icky task of cleaning up after you poop… the humans do it for you. You have the superpower of enhanced smell – not so great when the humans funk up the bathroom, but it makes sniffing out food, interesting prey and hot bitches super easy. Can’t get one over on me as to which hand the treat is in… I could smell it if it was shoved up your butt! Food that falls on the floor and leftovers in general somehow magically become yours. When guests come to the house, you are the center of attention. You also can get people to give you treats by doing simplistic, cute and amusing tricks… as if we’re performing incredible feats of amazement. Hah! And of course there is the enviable ability to lick your own doodle. I don’t think it really gets any better than that. Sure there’s the whole leash thing. But I can deal with that.

Mom and dad have been talking non-stop about getting a new home of our own with a huge yard for me to play in. Not that dad will let me stay out there all the time because he’s such a worry wart, but still, it sounds really cool. Mom and dad have kinda been celebrating a little because they are on the verge of this being imminent (another new vocabulary word) but they say it’s still not a done deal and have told me and Nuno not to get our hopes up yet. I can’t help it though… I’m so excited!