Being Outside

Fridays are great! It means I've got two whole days with Mom and Dad because they don't have to work. I envy other dogs who have parents who are home all day with them. Plus, with parents like that, they probably don’t have to listen to any bitching and whining about how much they hate going to work. I wonder what that’s like. Anyway, Fridays means I get two whole days of attention, more food, more fun, more cuddling and my favorite -- I get to go outside more often. Or at least when mom is around. For some reason mom and dad argue about letting me stay outside. Dad lets me out, and once I pee and poop he expects me to come right back inside. I wouldn’t mind coming back inside right way if he was giving me food or something good, but he just wants me inside for no good reason. He thinks just because I’ve peed and pooped that I’ve got no other reason to be outside. How about just because? And, he only lets me outside when HE thinks I’ve gotta pee or poop. What the hell is he, a pee and poop expert? Is he psychic? How does he know when I’ve got to go? How would he like it if he only got to go when someone else told him he had to go. And just because the place he goes to the bathroom in is a room he goes in for no other reason but to go to the bathroom is not my problem. He could hang out in that room for an hour or two just chillin if he wanted. I wouldn’t stop him. Mom, on the other hand, opens the door and I go flying into the yard and she leaves me the hell alone. I come back to the door when I’m good and ready to come back inside. Mom is always saying to dad “Leave him alone – he likes it outside. He’s stuck in the house all the time – let him hang out there and just enjoy it.” And whenever she goes out in the yard, I wanna go with her and dad’s always trying to stop me telling me to stay inside. What the hell! Mom tells him again to leave me alone and let me come outside. I like mom’s way a whole lot better!